journal, random, The life

Reflections: Conflicting Loyalties

This prompt found on the Daily Om about when or if we ever had conflicting loyalties in our lives.

I am exceptionally loyal to my loved ones: my partner (when I had one), my friends and my family. And I will defend any of them who are in my life, no matter what. I may not like or agree with everything they do- but I am very loyal.

But there are times when that loyalty isn’t deserved. And it definitely is not reciprocated.

I am haunted by this quote:

“You used to be nice. Or did you never used to be. Oh God, maybe you never used to be.”

The Banshees of Inisherin.

Because I am familiar with this conflict now. And that is where my conflicted loyalties are. When I am fiercely loyal to someone I love and it turns out it was misplaced, used and not earned or returned.

That quote is stuck in my head now. And will be for a long time I think. It’s a disturbing but good movie, by the way. But what if the person we think we knew and thought they were a good person… isn’t. What if they never were? What if you loved an illusion or the mask they wore?

It is a horrible thought. And a very sad one as well. Thing is you don’t stop being empathic, or compassionate, or giving your trust and loyalties to others because their was a person like this in your life. You don’t stop being you. Your values don’t get destroyed. Or at least it wasn’t the case for me. It is crushing though. It is painful. But I don’t carry these things with me to other people and other relationships.


1 thought on “Reflections: Conflicting Loyalties”

  1. This is very true, and a hard thing to have to learn. It is also true that it is difficult not to carry the mistrust on to existing and new relationships. Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship and that is where the issue lies. When can you fully trust another person. That is a key component for your future relationship goals. If I may quote Star Wars do not keep anything that you cannot afford to lose. The thing is that it is best to be independent and free, even in a relationship. Not that it means you can cheat, no ot means that you can and are able to be independent of it. You have your own life to live and they have theirs to be able to share your lives together is amazing but you cannot be dependent on it. To love someone does not mean ownership ir means mutual respect and appreciation. To be together because you want to be and not needing to be is very powerful and freeing.

    Liked by 1 person

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