Humans need a sense of control. Even if we do not have much of it. Accurate or not, it is necessary that we believe it. Not necessary that we believe it Too Much. Like everything, balance is key.

I was digging into this topic for entirely different reasons and came across this Locus of Control that we all have.

Locus of Control

This concept is usually divided into two categories: internal and external. If a person has an internal locus of control, that person attributes success to his or her own efforts and abilities. A person who expects to succeed will be more motivated and more likely to learn. A person with an external locus of control, who attributes his or her success to luck or fate, will be less likely to make the effort needed to learn. People with an external locus of control are also more likely to experience anxiety since they believe that they are not in control of their lives. This is not to say, however, that an internal locus of control is “good” and an external locus of control is “bad.” There are other variables to be considered, however, psychological research has found that people with a more internal locus of control seem to be better off, e.g. they tend to be more achievement oriented and get better paying jobs.

Psychology Today

I have am not sure where my locus of control is.

I do attribute Every Failure to my own efforts. Even if the circumstances are insane and it is obvious some external factor has some serious influence… Nope, whatever happened, if the outcome sucked, or I Perceived it to be less than Awesome… That is ALL on ME.

If I succeeded… when and if I ever perceived that to happen… it is definitely due to some external force… luck or some force not due to my skills, my efforts, my abilities.

So obviously my imposter syndrome really rules this issue. Less now than it did when I was younger but still. I think now that I am somewhat dealing with that damned Imposter Syndrome bitch my locus of control is primarily internal. I am not one to believe in luck or fate or any external whim. I believe in my efforts, my abilities, my learning and skills and my growth. Not that external forces do not amplify those and affect those and definitely how I react to external forces. Being chronically ill, though, I am also aware I am not actually in that much control over my life… and most people aren’t, even if they like to think so- and I have come to terms with this fact.

External Locus of Control

Anyway, I like this idea of having a totally 100% external locus of control. That I could believe 100% that whatever happens, good or bad, I could point to some external influence that caused it. It seems fantastic. While it would mean I wouldn’t have much control… I don’t anyway. And maybe if I believed this 100% I would also believe in ways I might influence these external factors.

I might decide that some external influences on my success or failures are…

Based on the vibes I put out into the universe.

So if I vibe strongly enough… I can get what I want. If I don’t vibe right… things will suck. And other people’s vibes around me can affect my vibes. So negative vibes can cause negative things or screw up my vibes. And places can have negative or positive vibes. Basically, the whole world and all things are Vibing. And while I have a minute influence in controlling My Vibe… if I REALLY focus on specific thoughts I project out there- I don’t have much influence on all the vibes out there. So if something horrible happens or I fail at something it could just be… all the damn bad vibes going around.

The Fae

Obviously, Fae or Faeries can be both mischievous, tricksters, or even ‘good’ depending on their mood. When something happens I could just blame them. Tripped on my own feet? Invisible Fae. Passed a test? Luck fae. Got a migraine? Bashed on the head by some cruel Fae. I could leave milk on my front steps or other gifts for Seelie Fae and try other things to prevent Unseelie Fae antics… just to ensure better luck comes my way. Let’s not tempt fate.

This could also be Invisible Goblins. Or Ghosts/Spirits. Basically, entities UNKNOWN influencing reality either in a positive way or a negative way on a whim. Absolutely no one can disprove this Isn’t the case, since they are invisible. Just saying.

The Matrix

We are actually not even living in a real world at all. This is a simulation. Nothing I do is even my choice. Nothing that happens to me has anything to do with me at all. It was someone playing the program through… let’s see what happens if we make her do this or if This happens or then This will happen. Not cool, man, not cool. I am actually quite offended by our programming Overlords.

Descartes Demon- In hyper mode

Rene Descartes uses his demon argument to say we can’t trust our senses. Say we believe we are seeing, feeling, smelling… whatever but Actually a malevolent demon is tricking us.

Yeah, but what if I think I chose to do something but a malevolent demon tricked me into making that choice? Or benevolent entity. Whether that choice led to failure or success… it wasn’t Mine because I really didn’t make those choices. Damn demons.

Fate

Maybe we all have a destiny. So anything we do, any success and failure, is already predetermined in our Fate. We can’t change it. It is what it is. You can’t fight destiny. Sucks. So you might as well curl up in a ball and stop trying. But if You Do, that’s in fact your destiny all along.

Anyway, it would be fun to unload some blame for everything on something. Instead of blaming myself for literally everything including things I know are completely out of my control. Unload some of that on invisible space goblins or something. Aliens… yeah, it was the aliens and some chip they stuck in my brain? Who knows.

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