How you know you’re a writer

How do you know you are a writer? What is it that makes you a writer? I’ll tell you.

You write a lot. This one is pretty obvious. Maybe you blog when you are not writing your novel. Maybe you freelance. Maybe you do all of them.
You thrive on an excessive amount of caffeine. And then wonder why you have insomnia, but the night is good writing time.
Randomly come up with plotlines while doing pretty much anything. Like trying to get just a little damn sleep.
Stare into space a lot. Just thinking. Pondering. Wondering.
You’re not a book hoarder, but that is because having a lot of books isn’t hoarding. It is necessary.
You read an excessive amount. But what is ‘excessive’ anyway?
You guess the plotline and end of every damn TV show. ‘That person there is faking being the victim to get information. They are actually the perpetrator.’ And you are freakishly right most of the time but rather pleased when it is a twist you didn’t see.
Sometimes when you read a book you imagine an awesome ending that would be just perfect but are disappointed when the author doesn’t take it and goes for a tidy happy ending.
You have no money. Unless you are Stephen King and then you have lots.
You cry sometimes when you edit.
You cry a lot more when you have to market your work.
You wonder why people don’t Review things, damn it.
You start drinking.
‘Depression makes me creative.’
You drink more.
You use your suffering to write something brilliant and it is all worthwhile.

That got weird. If you want me I’ll be crying in my beer. For inspiration. Of course.

In the end, you are a writer because you write. A non-published writer who hasn’t finished their first book… still a writer. A writer who has only self-published. Still a writer.