I killed my blog Brainlessblogger.net. I blogged about the experience of living and coping with chronic pain… for so long I don’t even remember how long it has been. I remember I made my own website in html, then actual template blogs came out and I moved to them, to Blogger and then to WordPress. SO…. been a bit.
Took a wee break
I took a break a bit back because things were getting difficult with the vertigo and then these added long-term COVID issues. Running a niche blog of a decent size with the associated social media, its affiliates and the associated promotions… takes time, energy and effort. As a hobby I dig it or I wouldn’t be blogging right now, this very second. Like right now… and now…
But there is a point where you have to decide full steam ahead or just be mellow. And while I was contemplated slowing down, A Lot, and not full steam ahead in the least bit- it just really got to me that I have a lot of blogger fatigue on that side of things. It is hard to be in that niche- writing about chronic illness and advocating in that area. It is like screaming to the world and they are completely deaf to it.
But we have a good community and our community of bloggers definitely help a lot of people figure out their own ways to cope. Or relate to your journey and experience and then we all feel just a little bit less isolated. Or exploring all sorts of different products, reading different books and trying different strategies and telling people what that was all like. So there is a significant purpose for the niche. I have learned an immense amount about how I cope, things to try, the research that is out there… so much more than I otherwise would have.
Thinking in that headspace
It is just writing about it all the time can be extremely draining. Whether I am coping exceptionally well… or not. Whether my strategies are working… or not. Whether I have some sort of balance in treatment and health- or definitely not. It is exhausting to think about it, research it and write on it all the time. Which is why I often got out of that mental space with other things and hobbies so no big deal really.
Sometimes I don’t want to Think about it. I just want to cope and Do it. Not think about it. Or talk about it.
But I am so exhausted lately with all this vertigo and then this damned COVID crap. I feel half awake most of the time which doesn’t exactly make for an awesome thinking state of mind. Or reading, for that matter. Hell, I am having a damned hard time with fiction writing. It is extremely frustrating. So… something had to go. I need to just be very mellow. And with these narcoleptic like nap attacks and heavy state of tiredness I have to seriously manage my energy and limitations on what I can and can’t do in a day.
Letting go sucks
I thought about it for some time. And the Pros and Cons. But in the end it is just something I have to let go of. It is just time. And I am cool with that. It is just it has been a part of my life for so long and I have built it up for such a long time. But I did it. I just let it … go. And I suppose I will have to do the same for the associated social media too or maybe not. I have not decided on that yet. Maybe I will do videos and get into that vibe. Maybe not. I will have to see what level of energy I can maintain here.
But letting go is really just about growth in a different direction. That is how I see it anyway. And who knows how that will work out.
Sometimes we just have to reassess our priorities based on our lives- and health situation. And the amount of time vs the amount of energy we have available to us.
And at the moment with my walking limitations I do want to focus on rehabilitating that issue. And hopefully working on this weird nap attack issue. One hopes anyway. One always hopes. Anyway, that sort of rehabilitation takes a lot of time and energy out of a person so that is going to be draining. I just hope someone can figure out why I can’t walk well anymore but regardless I am going to do physio to help myself one way or the other.