Poem: To Sleep

This Long-COVID I have is definitely persistent enough that now my doctor is thinking Long-COVID and not that this will just go away and I will recover. In my case, it may be presenting as Narcolepsy.

And of all the possibilities that Long-COVID could present as or trigger … is that a good thing?

Because the one article I read that referenced it triggering Narcolepsy said it could also trigger MS or Parkinson’s in people predisposed to it. And I already have MS-like lesions. And then there are people without any sense of smell/taste forever or a corrupted sense of smell and taste. And with migraine with aura, that is an aura that happens and I know that would not be something I would want to endure forever. Many people have what definitely seems like M.E./CFS and I know people with that one and I already have fibromyalgia so I definitely Do Not want that combo.

So many things can happen with Long-COVID that maybe if this is a thing that I have, which who even knows if this is what it is, then maybe narcolepsy is my best case scenario? And it is a sucky scenario. But at least my doctor said there was treatments so that is Something.

All I know is I am immensely tired. And I am having serious nap attacks. Everywhere. It is seriously insane. And very fractured sleep. I mean, vertigo bouts make me tired and sleepy and nappy. Yes. For sure. But i don’t just conk out randomly. And struggle to stay awake in public places. Sometimes failing. I Almost fell asleep while my dentist was IN MY MOUTH. I mean that is some level of insane there. And it was one hell of a struggle to stay away. With blurring eyes and double vision. I had the same issue when I was getting my hair cut but I think I micro napped more than once in that one. While waiting for my dentist for the first time, fell asleep. In MRI- asleep. It is a struggle anytime I am outside of the house. In the house it is a struggle while doing things and I do fail.

And this my poem:

To Sleep

Sleep, sleeping life away,
Wake up, to sleep again.
Hovering on the cusp of dream’s doorway,
Only awake enough to feel my brain slip, slip and drain.

Wake up ,to sleep again,
Dragging through the day.
Only awake enough to feel my brain slip, slip and drain,
I am here but here I am slipping away.

Dragging through the day,
Hovering on the cusp of dream’s doorway.
I am here but here I am slipping away,
Sleep, sleeping life away.

       Nikki Albert
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2 thoughts on “Poem: To Sleep”

    1. Yeah, whatever this is is pretty weird. I am used to fatigue and some daytime tiredness from insomnia. But this is Way on a different level. But still sleep deprivation overall. Just also can’t control those nap attacks either. And like Bam deep, deep asleep right into dreams. Insanely vivid dreams.

      I don’t hear the phone or alarms. Then maybe twenty or thirty minutes later I’m awake. And good for a bit and then the extreme tiredness starts all over again and eventually Bam nap attack again. So if I am out and about, it is really tricky. I have been trying to like sleep before I leave the house so i don’t actually fall asleep while somewhere. It is very confusing too when I get extremely tired. Not entirely sure I am totally awake.

      Stupid COVID.

      Liked by 1 person

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