How would you describe the journey of life you’ve had so far?
Hmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmmmm.
A tragic comedy? Okay, that is a little dramatic.
Maybe like a quest for meaning that doesn’t actually exist. But since my personality type is obsessed with ‘why’s’ I keep asking loads of questions that have no answers and seek meaning where there is none. Not that there is anything wrong with that. It is a fun journey.
My journey is definitely one of learning to adapt and accept chronic pain. And that sort of is a suckfest. But it is part of my life for sure. Can’t deny that aspect. And because it has led to being disabled I have also had to learn to accept that as well. That is really all about growth. You really have to be resilient and flexible and Adapt.
But I don’t adapt sometimes. So part of my journey has been to suffer. Because the emotional experience of pain is suffering and when we can’t cope with that, when none of our strategies work, and we have no treatment… and it consumes us… well, in my case I fall into a deep, dark depression. And that is also part of this life of mine more than a few times and sometimes for very long stretches of time.
My journey is also an arching creative path of exploration. Writing in many formats. Drawing in a few mediums.
Also, apparently, it is a path of accumulating a vast amount of abstract knowledge that I don’t actually need in a practical sense but that my brain needs as food in order to survive. It eats knowledge. Loves the stuff. So I shove it in there on a regular basis or it gets really down.
I’d like to say there was some grand purpose in there but there isn’t. It is what it is.