365 Questions, One Page Per Day: A One Year Self-Discovery Journal
DAY 7: we are skipping to day 7
What has life been trying to tell you the past few years?
Life has a way of telling me quite clearly that I have to just recover and get used to the idea of not working at this time in my life. No one is fond of being disabled and financially unstable. And so when you are, there are always times when you begin to ponder ‘well, maybe part-time from home I could do something.’ And then your body shuts that Down fast. Not cool. But it is life telling me it just is not the time for that. Maybe it will never be the time for that. And I just have to have acceptance for that fact.
Life has also been telling me to find fulfillment in all the ways I can ( and not obsess about the idea of work being my self-identity). So I utilize the short usable hours I have in the day for writing or art. You can see some of my art on Artpal. Writing and art- just creating- help fill the void of not being able to work. And I get that sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from them.
Even when I am doing nothing and I am too tired or in too much pain to focus on anything too complicated- I doodle now.
Charlie Doodles:
Last couple of days I was doodling our cat, Charlie. Not really focusing much, just playing around. Maybe I will work on a charcoal piece of him, not sure.
And recently I worked on a portrait of my boyfriend. Most of my work is expressive charcoal drawings taken from stock references. But I wanted to try a portrait of someone in my life and refresh those skills a bit but in the same expressive style Challenge myself to see if I could capture the essence of the picture and person. I like how it turned out.
Sometimes life is just saying be content with the things you Can do and stop thinking about all the things you Can’t.
I do have to focus on finding a way to increase my level of functionality within the limits my body has given me though. No one likes having such a limited time to function in a day. And I would like More time to be able to function- even if it is just doing mellow things and not any real ‘activity’. I get tired of this recovery mode. And rest. And more rest. All this pain, fatigue, and vertigo do not own who I am by any means but they are a thief of weeks, days and hours. You will find me living in the gaps.
The Wyrd 