When you rock your gray hair

There is something about being a woman and this concept we shouldn’t show our gray hair. Men can. It is all distinguished. We just ‘look old’ and how Dare we show our age? That is Wrong. And how dare we LOOK our age. That is WORSE. Society sucks. I just want to be me. I just want to be my age and look how I look and not give a damn what people think about it. I’m cool with that.

I actually started going gray pretty early and I didn’t care. Didn’t bother me any. Called them my wisdom sparkles. Then my boss said I should dye my hair to look more professional and I didn’t want to… look old did I? I didn’t think I did look old with gray hair. I thought it was natural and who even cared anyway? But she said it would look so good and so professional. And every other banker had dyed and styled hair. I always felt like I didn’t look so professional. I always felt like I was playing a role that never quite fit. So I decided to get highlights but I found out they needed to dye it all to do the highlights. And so I ended up with completely dyed hair. And then the endless process of trying to keep up with that because it looks horrible when it starts to grow out. I really didn’t like it or want to keep doing it. But how do you stop? When it is long and it would take so Long to grow out? I had no idea how to do that.

So for my entire work career I did dye my hair. I suppose that old boss made a negative impression on me. Since I wasn’t bothered by my gray streaks at all. But it wasn’t ‘professional’. Or I suppose the initial decision she had influenced me on. But after I was just trapped in this dyeing system that I didn’t know how to get out of. You have to maintain the dye constantly. So freaking annoying.

When I became disabled and I realized it would be some time, if ever, I would be able to return to any sort of work… I saw no point in trying to maintain some ‘professional’ image I had no desire to maintain in the first place. So I chopped it all off to grow out my glorious gray locks (which by then, was Most of my hair). I’m told there are slower and easier ways to transition back to your natural colour. I was impatient. Chop it OFF. I want back to my natural colour fast!

I figured, at that time, if I returned to work I’d have it grown out and natural for my return. Sadly, that hasn’t happened yet as my health hasn’t improved.

I honestly do not get why this is such an issue in society and frankly I don’t actually even care why it is. I don’t want to constantly dye my hair. And I won’t. I never liked it. I never wanted to do it. And that boss should never have said that or half the things she said. Not her place. I should never have listened to her but I wasn’t in a good place back then and so I did. Such a person would never influence me now. But when we are young… well, we listen more to the opinions of others. Not sure why that is. I never was one to give much of a damn for what people think about me. At any age. But obviously I did let some people influence my decisions that I wouldn’t now.

No one says to me ‘Oh you look so Old with your hair like that’. Not one person has ever said that to me. Most people love my gray locks. I love them. If people don’t? Who even cares? I think more women are making this choice and I think it is because some of us never liked that constant dyeing process in the first damn place. Or we get sick and tired of it.

I do still dye my hair. Just never with permanent dye. Just semi-permanent. And never to mask gray with like a normal brown colour. Nope. Now I dye it for fun. Purple or blue are my favourites these days.

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I always wanted to dye my hair funky colours but with brown hair it seemed like such a process. I’d have to lighten it first and… what a hassle. But with gray locks? Already light, eh? It dyes funky colours exceptionally well.

I have nothing against anyone dyeing there hair to mask gray. It is about what we want if we want to do it. It is like make-up. If you want to wear it, do so. I don’t like make-up so I don’t wear it. It is all about what makes us feel good about ourselves. And screw whatever other people think. Society was way too many opinions about how women should look. And how we should age. And how we should be. I just never had much use for any of that. So do what you want to do and screw what people think about it.

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