Creative slump

I have been in a bit of a creative slump. It began with a new medical diagnosis of Ménière’s disease and you can check out my other blog to read about that if you so desire. Suffice to say it is progressive and this vertigo I experience will not be going away. If she is correct. And I am not saying one way or the other until they tell me for sure it is that. She is sure. But I don’t know. They were pretty sure about MS due to my rather spectacular MRI but when I didn’t present symptoms or decline… not so much. So I have no idea.

All I know is I am tired of tired of the vertigo and I sort of had this vague belief that it would eventually just disappear as many types Do. I thought I had come to terms with it but it turns out I was just … coasting through just coping with it which was hard enough and not really thinking hard on the fact it may never actually go away. Well, in this case it Will once it destroys my hearing, the nerve, the vertigo will end, but the balance problems with be worse and permanent. So … Yay? Anyway, this is not the sort of thing I want.

Nevertheless, I can do things About it. And I will. I am just in a sort of apathetic slump at the moment. And creativity took a dive. My writing. My drawing. My two Main coping strategies for chronic pain in fact. And I am just mentally tired.

So I have to work my way out of this slump the best I can. And that means working on my writing a bit at a time. Doing a bit of random art… no matter what it is… just to get something Down.

I did draw this. No watercolour practice. Just this pencil crayon piece. Inspired by this show my spouse is addicted to called Antique Roadshow. They had this sculpture with this certain face and it inspired these sort of mask like faces in this drawing. Anyway, it was just to get something on paper.

I feel very lacking in motivation with this apathetic feeling settling in me. So I am doing what I can. Do and that spurs motivation I have learned in the past. Doing is important also with chronic illness and chronic pain. Focus on what we can do. And Not on what we cannot. And when we do this we feel productive and that is important.

A break is fine too. Some reading. And other things that also spur creativity. All are good things. But… not Too much of a break or motivation further slumps and mood can sort of lag… and that is never a good thing with chronic illness.