20 ways to write the awesomenessest post

Blogging is hard. You can lose someone in the first line you write. Or they can get halfway through and go ‘By all that is holy, why I am I reading this tripe.’ Or it is too long. Or conversely too short. You can ramble on and on and on and on and on and on to give you a good word count. You have to be concise. So very concise. Bullet points. Numbered lists. Pinnable images. There is a lot of work that goes into the awesomnessest post you have ever made in your entire existence.

Luckily, I have some awesomeness pointers.

You’re welcome.

Ways to help you write a fascinating post

1. First, find a fascinating topic. Dragons. Aliens. Trump’s hair having a consciousness of its own as it tries to flee his head. Some celebrity did a thing. Pickles. Whatever, make it fascinating.
2. Drink 15 cups of coffee. Or any caffeinated drink. And when you get to that extremely hyper-agitated state… start writing.
3. Writer feverishly freeflow for an hour
4. Delete all of that
5. Then research your topic. Whatever it may be.
6. Don’t use any of that
7. Plan an outline. Hahahaahaha. Yeah, I don’t do that either
8. Write in the middle of the night in peak sleepiness. That is pure gold there.
9. Edit whimsically. Also make up words whimsically.
10. Add a stock image that has nothing to do with your post.
11. Edit some more
12. Add a profoundly meaningful quote.
13. Rant posts do well. But not like out of control crazy rants
14. Debating a point works well, as long as your opinion isn’t completely nutbars
15. Write a humour post. Laugh hysterically at your wit.
16. Write Only what you know for sure beyond a glimmer of a doubt. Like: pineapple on pizza is delicious.
17. Write something so very wrong people will be forced to respond, share, and rant about it thus increasing your reach. Something like: dogs are better than cats. Man, that ticked me off just writing it.
18. I have nothing to say for this last point. Let’s just skip this one.
19. And this point upon reflection won’t work
20. Finish your post with a witty tagline. And then post to every social media ever made, repeatedly. That is really two points. So bonus point.

So there are some good ideas to get you going on the best post Ever written by a human being. Not counting non-human robots, who let’s face it are better than us at everything and do not cry before getting up to work.

Also, read for further awesome writing tips:

When to kill a character

Writing: How to get out of stuck scene

Writing: What pets to put in your fantasy

Remember to buy me a coffee because I exist on coffee and love people supporting my work!