So I want to update all my blurbs. Because apparently this is vital and I agree. So I have been trying with White Witch Haven book 1. I have asked for assistance and:
- I put too much information in (so I took it out)
- I put too little information (so I screamed)
I am clueless at this.
Here are my attempts. And now I am at a complete loss what to write. I may have to hire out for this one.
Number one:
A quest to find a missing witch becomes complicated when Raylien finds out she is no mere witch. The Faerie Queen herself might have an interest in the hunt making Ray walk a fine line in her service to the Queen and her demon family.
Ray has spend substantial effort to become the Fae ambassador to Haven. It gets her out from under the thumb of a cruel Queen but means she cannot have contact with her demon family. Accepting a job to find a witch mated to her demon cousin was going to require being careful and on the down-low with her mission. This is made quite a bit more difficult by her father sending her a potential demon mate and insisting she see if they are compatible.
The missing witch isn’t what she appeared to be. Ray fears the eyes of the Queen will be on her if the Queen finds out. To add to the problem other Fae are missing in the city and she fears it is all connected. She has to find them all before the Queen’s interest is piqued. Will finding out who the witch truly is put both her and Ray in mortal danger?
Number two:
Raylien is on a quest to find a missing witch who has mated her demon cousin. When she finds out the witch is half Seelie Fae there is an urgent need to save her before the Queen finds out. Ray needs to get that witch to the Hells as soon as possible. If she can find her at all.
Ray spent substantial effort to become the Fae ambassador to Haven. Living in the mortal realm was perfect and beyond the torments inflicted by the Queen. Her mother is held somewhere in Faerie for her and her father’s good behaviour. Just being involved in any way to her demon family could cause her problems with the Queen. However, it is her job to manage the fae in Haven. And she believes it is only right she help faelings as well. Then to find the witch is Seelie Fae and human. The Faerie Queen has banned ‘the pure’ Seelie from mating with humans. She will kill any children and punish the Fae parent. Certainly she will punish Ray for helping the witch when she finds her.
Lan was sent to Raylien by her demon father to try and get Ray mated to a demon. The king has threatened to take Raylien to the Hells and hold her there indefinitely if she doesn’t see if they are compatible mates. She agrees but it complicates the mission at hand. If the Queen found out she was trying to mate with a demon she would sever the mating bond and kill them both. Or even a punishment worse than death.
Other fae and faelings are missing. And Ray suspects they are all connected. The witch, though, is a walking time bomb. If she cannot be found soon and quietly all their lives are at risk. All isn’t what it seems. The enemy behind the curtain has a real, personal, interest in Ray.
White Witch is book 1 of the Haven series. If you like Ray’s adventures and White Witch you’ll love Where Art thou? Book 2.
Number 3:
Ray is the fae ambassador to the human city of Haven. It is a valuable position that gets her out from directly under the Queen but also means she cannot have contact with her demon family. But when the white witch, Lily Storm, goes missing Ray has to choose between loyalty to her family or her Queen.
On top of this, her demon father is insisting that she try to see if she is mate compatible with a demon, which is will be deadly to her if the Queen finds out. Her father has not given her a choice in the matter.
As Ray hunts through various suspects in an effort to find the white witch and keep her position, she realizes that more fae and faelings are going missing and it all might be connected. But with tensions between demons and fae so fragile it’s up to Ray to figure out what is going on and return the witch to her demon cousin while saving the others.
The Wyrd 
This is totally “the blind leading the blind,” as I’ve struggled to gain attention for my own writing (I think in general it’s just difficult to get noticed without a celebrity patron or starting out as a celebrity yourself), but I have a few thoughts on your “book blurb.”
I would start out with version 3, and tweak it to add/subtract some details, something like this:
Ray is the fae ambassador to the human city of Haven. Haven is a place where humans can interact with the various creatures of Faerie, another realm whose inhabitants remained hidden from humans until “the lifting of the veil.” Haven is not only a place where the fae can visit earth, but is also home to vampires, demi-demons, faelings, and other hybrid creatures, along with human witches. Ray is herself a hybrid, but a forbidden hybrid between a Seelie fae and a demon–none other than the King of the Hells himself. Faerie’s cruel Queen has forbidden dilution of “pure” Seelie fae blood by mixing with “lesser” races, especially demons, with whom Faerie has an uneasy truce following a bitter war.
Ray’s position as the fae ambassador is valuable in that it gets her out from directly under the thumb of the Queen, who enjoys tormenting Ray because of her heritage but keeps her alive for leverage against the King of the Hells. Ray’s position also means she cannot have contact with her demon family.
Aside from her ambassador duties, Ray runs a private detective agency. This side job allows her to skirt the law and even the Accords which govern relations between races when need be. However, it also causes her an enormous headache when the white witch, Lily Storm, goes missing, because it forces Ray to choose between loyalty to her family or her Queen. Lily, it turns out, is mated to one of Ray’s demon cousins–and demons mate for life.
Taking a job for her father searching for a missing witch is bad enough, but Ray’s father has other plans for her which could place Ray into direct conflict with the Queen if they are discovered–placing Ray in danger of death or worse.
As Ray hunts through various suspects in an effort to find the missing white witch and keep her position as fae ambassador, she realizes that more fae and faelings are going missing and it all might be connected. But with tensions between demons and fae so fragile, it’s up to Ray to figure out what is going on and return the witch to her demon cousin while saving the others.
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That might be too long, but I think adding a bit about the “world” you built is important, and might generate a little more intrigue. The Haven Series is so much more than just your average urban fantasy–you engage in genuine “world building” and introducing potential readers to that is important, I think. Like I said, I haven’t figured out book blurbs or advertising myself, so take it with a grain of salt. Now I think I need to go back and edit my own book blurbs. 😉
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Hey thanks! Man, I am having such an issue with this. Not to mention I am going to update them all. So I better get this skill sorted!
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I’m going to give that version a try. I think it works better than what I have come up with.
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What I am trying is updating the blurb. And then to run ads. And see if that picks people up more. A FB ad I did worked quite well in KU reads
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