Writing vs speaking

Written words, yes. Love writing. Verbally? Really depends. More awkward than anything would be what I would say.

Introvert: I write better than I speak “We innies tend to write better than we speak. Words pour out effortlessly onto the page (or the computer screen nowadays). But in conversation, it can often feel like there’s a traffic jam in the pathway between our mind and our mouth.”

The author is right on the money when talking about when I was younger. In the sense that I could not do presentations. Could not handle people staring at me and being the center of attention while being forced to talk. I admit my verbal skills lacked then too. In that, I always had the perfect comeback to ignorant fools hours later when it did no good at all. Frustrated me a great deal. However, what was far more frustrating was my actual attempts at conversation. The fact, I didn’t seem to comprehend the need for idle chit chat. The fact that when I discussed something I found interesting people’s eyes glazed over. Or I used words they didn’t understand. I began to consciously choose specific vocabulary I knew people would understand. That lack of connection is what was extremely frustrating to me as a teenager.

As an adult you adapt. I had a job as a teenager in customer service and that is how I taught myself random idle chit chat that people use at the beginning of conversations. As an introvert, it isn’t my favorite thing. But I learned the skill. Unfortunately, while I learned asking questions was a great way to open people up, I had no clue how to close a conversation. It lead to a lot of excessively long conversations. Nevertheless, I was teaching myself a skill. How to communicate with others. One I refined in customer service jobs in fact. Never mind the fact as an introvert I have never been entirely comfortable at it. I am more comfortable than I was and that counts for a lot. I am fully capable of having a reasonable conversation with a perfect stranger as the need arises. As with all introverts though all that interaction is draining and then I need some decent alone time. I still refuse to go to a party with strangers because that is not something I enjoy. I will go to a gathering if there are people I know and I will damn well stick by them like glue. As I get slowly integrated into the event I can and do socialize with other people. When I was younger I would just sit as far away from people as possible, hovering around the edges, waiting until it was a decent time to leave.

We are never truly comfortable verbally until we cross paths with another introvert with the same personality type and have one of Those conversations. Those mind blowing interesting conversations about topics we are actually interested in. It is like they are on the same plane of existence we are on and the conversation just flows through us like magic. Time passes and other people are just blocked out. But it is rare.

Nevertheless, I know now every conversation is a gateway into learning something new and fascinating. You just never know what.

I admit though, I have troubles with phone conversations. I can’t stand the phone. The lack of the ability to interpret signals drives me nuts. I get anxious. I fumble. I speak too fast. I recently had two of these. One was for an interview in a magazine and the other for an prospect for a radio show. Yeah, I don’t think I excelled. And I after I thought of the thousands of things I didn’t say, of course. If it was written, that wouldn’t have been an issue.

Writing is that comfort zone. I can express all the things I believe in whatever way I so choose and there is no Other there to make me falter. No glazed eyes. No need for ‘That weather, man. How about that, eh?’ I express things in words I never express verbally. Mostly because things come out ‘right’. Ideas are actually expressed. Conversations are messy and ideas only half formed as they are tossed around. It can be fun and entertaining with the right people or it can be awkward and frustrating. The written word though doesn’t fail you like that. Possibly the best thing about it is that you don’t have to choose your topic based on the person you are talking to. If you post online there is a vast audience for anything you write about. You can actually write about the things that interest you.