“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” – Ernest Hemingway

I wonder why this is true. My IQ is not by any means off the freaking charts high. It is a modest 140. But I have always had a strong dissatisfaction with life. Almost like I enjoy my cynicism and melancholy. Perhaps I do but I don’t enjoy it when it gets to be less talking about overall happiness and more about depression.

Constant worrying may, in fact, be a sign of intelligence – but not in the way these armchair philosophers had imagined. Interviewing students on campus about various topics of discussion, Alexander Penney at MacEwan University in Canada found that those with the higher IQ did indeed feel more anxiety throughout the day. Interestingly, most worries were mundane, day-to-day concerns, though; the high-IQ students were far more likely to be replaying an awkward conversation, than asking the “big questions”. “It’s not that their worries were more profound, but they are just worrying more often about more things,” says Penney. “If something negative happened, they thought about it more.” BBC

I don’t know about you guys but who doesn’t love a good ruminate fest. Yeah I think and think and then over think until I can’t think any more. You can out-think yourself out of the moment, out of happiness and out of pretty much anything.

That sense of burden – particularly when combined with others’ expectations – is a recurring motif for many other gifted children. The most notable, and sad, case concerns the maths prodigy Sufiah Yusof. Enrolled at Oxford University aged 12, she dropped out of her course before taking her finals and started waitressing. She later worked as a call girl, entertaining clients with her ability to recite equations during sexual acts.

Well. That is interesting. We all do this though. The what if game. What if I did that? Although I get the burden of expectation that would be on a genius. Meant for Great Things. Intelligence doesn’t guarantee this. Many mensa member with run of the mill jobs.

The article also said: We have a bias blind spot. Less likely to see our own flaws but awesome at seeing others. Since I am at the bottom of this spectrum I am glad I missed this or I am just really good at knowing my flaws. It said we also have a greater tendency to fall for the gambler’s fallacy, which surprises the hell out of me. “the idea that if a tossed coin turns heads 10 times, it will be more likely to fall tails on the 11th.” Anyway, to me gambling is irrational and I rarely get involved in that. It goes on to say that a high number of Mensa members believe in the paranormal. And to be honest I am open to it myself because it is possible. You cannot exclude it from an ontology when it never has been adequately investigated. I even like the idea of a quantum consciousness. Anyway… I’m with them on this one. Last one was to state someone with an IQ of 140 was twice as likely to max their credit card. Have to watch out for that I suppose.

So what brings on the happiness then? If not big ol’ brains?

Maybe wisdom? St the University of Waterloo, Igor Grossmann thinks so.

High scores turned out to predict greater life satisfaction, relationship quality, and, crucially, reduced anxiety and rumination – all the qualities that seem to be absent in classically smart people. Wiser reasoning even seemed to ensure a longer life – those with the higher scores were less likely to die over intervening years. Crucially, Grossmann found that IQ was not related to any of these measures, and certainly didn’t predict greater wisdom. “People who are very sharp may generate, very quickly, arguments [for] why their claims are the correct ones – but may do it in a very biased fashion.”

And there you have it. If it is not my brain and it ruminating on the wrong things… if it is wisdom, well…

I am screwed.

The only thing I know, is that I know nothing at all. And since Socrates said something similar I must have a wee smidgen of wisdom in there somewhere. A glimmer. Or maybe that is just white hairs.

Edit: someone commented on my post in reference to my IQ. And that is a valid point. I do know where it is on the curve. I am aware that is high. Just not excessively so. And I will say this, I have always had Imposter Syndrome. When I did well at a subject it was always for external reasons, not my own efforts, in my mind. I could, and do, pretty much doubt I had any hand in my accomplishments… but my failures and flaws are all mine. And I have always been intellectually timid. With the belief that most people are better in some way and no one wants to hear my opinion. I do come from an intelligent family and that made me feel quite normal and I feel my accomplishments were very normal. To the point, I actually have a belief I am very average intellectually, even if I know logically where I am in the spectrum. It isn’t one of the traits I think exemplifies me. Not to mention, I think our understanding of intelligence is simplified. And I am pretty sure it doesn’t dictate life satisfaction or wisdom, which I would certainly value in myself. I don’t mind being intellectually timid anymore. It didn’t help when I was younger and it doesn’t help now, but, I don’t know, I don’t like people who are condescending, patronizing, or have excessive arrogance… which is something I have perceived in a lot of people I think are intelligent. Which, obviously, is a generalizion of some people. So I think Not thinking you know everything about something or being modest with your intelligence is preferable to me. Even though I think I really should value my accomplishments and not fear sharing my opinion. But, yeah, I am aware the IQ number is higher than average. So keep in mind, I don’t think 140 is modest, I just actually never think anything I accomplish is real.